Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I’ll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?
Bazonka show
Say Bazonka every day
That’s what my grandma used to say
It keeps at bay the Asian Flu’
And both your elbows free from glue.
So say Bazonka every day
(That’s what my grandma used to say)
Don’t say it if your socks are dry!
Or when the sun is in your eye!
Never say it in the dark
(The word you see emits a spark)
Only say it in the day
(That’s what my grandma used to say)
Young Tiny Tim took her advice
He said it once, he said it twice
he said it till the day he died
And even after that he tried
To say Bazonka! every day
Just like my grandma used to say.
Now folks around declare it’s true
That every night at half past two
If you’ll stand upon your head
And shout Bazonka! from your bed
You’ll hear the word as clear as day
Just like my grandma used to say!
Bump show
Things that go ‘bump’ in the night
Should not really give one a fright.
It’s the hole in each ear
That lets in the fear,
That, and the absence of light!
Contagion show
Elephants are contagious!
Be careful how you tread.
An Elephant that’s been trodden on
Should be confined to bed!
Leopards are contagious too.
Be careful tiny tots.
They don’t give you a temperature
But lots and lots - of spots.
The Herring is a lucky fish
From all disease inured.
Should he be ill when caught at sea;
Immediately - he’s cured!
Eurolove show
I cannot
and I will not
No, I cannot love you less
Like the flower to the butterfly
The corsage to the dress
She turns my love to dust
my destination empty
my beliefs scattered: Diaspora!
Who set this course - and why?
Now my wings beat -
without purpose
Yet they speed………….
Feelings show
There must be a wound!
No one can be this hurt
and not bleed.
How could she injure me so?
No marks
No bruise
Worse!
People say ‘My, you’re looking well’
…..God help me!
She’s mummified me -
ALIVE!
Go North, South, East, and West, Young Man show
Drake is going west, lads
So Tom is going East
But tiny Fred
Just lies in bed,
The lazy little beast.
Goodbye S.S. show
Go away girl, go away
and let me pack my dreams
Now where did I put those yesteryears
made up with broken seams
Where shall I sweep the pieces
my God they still look new
There’s a taxi waiting at the door
but there’s only room for you
Granny show
Through every nook and every cranny
The wind blew in on poor old Granny
Around her knees, into each ear
(And up nose as well, I fear)
All through the night the wind grew worse
It nearly made the vicar curse
The top had fallen off the steeple
Just missing him (and other people)
It blew on man, it blew on beast
It blew on nun, it blew on priest
It blew the wig off Auntie Fanny-
But most of all, it blew on Granny!
